Friday, December 28, 2007

Liberal Of The Month

I am considering a new feature which will be called “Liberal Of The Month”. Of course, its sole purpose will be to highlight what passes for common sense amongst the netroots and their adherents. Let’s give it a try and tell me what you think …

For my very first “Liberal Of The Month” I would like to propose - Dave Lindorff. Dave Lindorff you say, not exactly a household name. Ah yes, but a wonderful liberal journalist with the finest of credentials:
- BA from Wesleyan University
- MS in Journalism from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism
- A two-time Fulbright Scholar
Not to mention that Mr. Lindorff’s most recent book is The Case for Impeachment: The Legal Argument for Removing President George W. Bush from Office – enough said.

Which brings us to Mr. Lindorff’s recent article in The Baltimore Chronicle and Sentinel titled Global Warming Will Save America from the Right...Eventually in which he says that the effects of global warming will have a disproportionate impact on conservatives:

"So the future political map of America is likely to look as different as the much shrunken geographical map, with much of the so-called “red” state region either gone or depopulated.
There is a poetic justice to this of course. It is conservatives who are giving us the candidates who steadfastly refuse to have the nation take steps that could slow the pace of climate change, so it is appropriate that they should bear the brunt of its impact.

The important thing is that we, on the higher ground both actually and figuratively, need to remember that, when they begin their historic migration from their doomed regions, we not give them the keys to the city. They certainly should be offered assistance in their time of need, but we need to keep a firm grip on our political systems, making sure that these guilty throngs who allowed the world to go to hell are gerrymandered into political impotence in their new homes.

There will be much work to be done to help the earth and its residents—human and non-human—survive this man-made catastrophe, and we can’t have these future refugee troglodytes, should their personal disasters still fail to make them recognize reality, mucking things up again.

It should be considered acceptable, in this stifling new world, to say, “Shut up. We told you this would happen.”

Of course, since the article has received a great deal of scrutiny in conservative circles Mr. Lindorff now says it was all a joke:

"Folks, I gotta say I'm disappointed, but maybe not surprised. An awful lot of you conservatives just can't spot over-the-top writing.

Obviously, I'm not really saying people in the so-called Red states should sink in the sea or have their gardens cooked in the prairie. Heck, half my family lives in North Caroliina, where my mom is from, and my in-laws are in South Florida, living at about two feet above sea level. Anyhow, we all know that even in a state like Idaho, about as red as it gets, 40 percent of the residents are lefties and liberals. Besides, though you wouldn't know it from some of the shit that passes for writing in the letters below, we are all Americans. It's just that some of ya'll don't have a sense of humor."

So, we are all Americans, eh? It was all a big joke. At least that is what the man with the sense of humor suggests. Mr. Lindorff has proposed to treat his conservative fellow Americans as contemptuous political refugees who should be “gerrymandered into political impotence” for their many and varied sins against the environment and liberalism in general; where they can be told to just “Shut up.” All in all, Mr. Lindorff comes off as much more Orwellian than Pythonesque. Apparently we are only Americans as long as we agree with Mr. Lindorff’s political ideology.

Ladies and Gentlemen - I present Dave Lindorff, Our Liberal Of The Month.

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